Santa Letter from a Realist

Last year my brother and a friend of his wrote this letter as a class assignment. I think it sums up what all Type A, logical people have felt for a long time.

Dear Santa,

I'm beginning to question your existence. Last year, I found a receipt on the counter for the same exact thing that you got me. Maybe it is just me, but that seems a little to coincidental.

If you are real, I wish for the recession to end and that the Health Care Reform bill will not pass.

Are my letters even getting to you? I am currently shipping UPS Ground. Is FedEx the better choice? What do you ship with? I would pay for 2nd Day Air, but I can't afford it due to the afore mentioned recession.

Oh by the way, how do you afford all your toys with the down economy? Do you shop at Wal-Mart? I have one more grinding question on my mind. How do your reindeer defy the laws of physics?

Sincerely, Justin